#explain to me how i'm supposed to sit there while this bespectacled

[swan-lite]

anyone else cry every time they think too hard about Harvey's 8-heart scene and/or listen to grapefruit sky? just me? okay, cool

[nikki-romero]

The Wild Flower (Tomoki Matsuba x OC) Prologue

It was finally the long-awaited moving day. I was moving into an apartment by myself. My dad helped me get the perfect apartment. The negotiations had gone smoothly and it was time to move in. I decided to walk to the new apartment to learn the new neighbourhood better.

My cousin and I had stopped and checked the map we had.

"Hmm, it looks like it's this way." My cousin, Ayame, pointed ahead of us. The pedestrian light turned green. "Come on!" She rushed across the street. With how excited she was getting, you'd think she was the one starting a new chapter of her life, so to speak.

"Wha-! Ayame!" I called after her. I quickly shoved the map into my bag before running after her. She turned around to wait for me, and her eyes widened.

"Hotaru! Watch out!!"

I looked to the side and saw a white limo heading towards me. I gasped but managed to leap out of the way before it could hit me, right into a puddle of ice-cold water.

"Hotaru! Are you alright?!" Ayame came running up to me, panicked.

"Peachy." I looked at my soaked clothing in utter dismay. Just as I was about to get up from the ground, a gentlemanly man dressed in black stepped out of the limo. A butler? I stared dubiously at him as he reached out his hand.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm great," I replied sarcastically. I had the right of way. I should not have had to escape death so narrowly. And I wasn't about to take his hand either. I shot him a nasty glare as I got up by myself.

"Your clothing... This is my fault. Allow me to make it up to you."

"What the hell was that? Don't you know how to read a road sign? Jesus Christ, you could have killed me!" I scolded him.

"You're right, I am so sorry." He bowed to me. "I'll get you a change of clothes," the man said gently.

"I don't need it," I snapped.

"Please, I insist. I can't leave a beautiful young girl looking like this. For one thing, my employer would be angry with me."

"Hotaru," Ayame whispered, "Maybe you should accept his offer. He looks like he feels really bad."

"You're too nice," I whispered back before turning back towards the butler. "Fine, whatever."

He smiled as he opened the door of the spacious limo and ushered us inside.

"My apologies. I should have stated earlier. My name is Aoi Shirafuji. I'm a butler to the Ichijo family," the butler introduced himself.

I stilled. "Ichijo?" I repeated.

"Oh, you know Mr Ichijo?" Aoi asked, looking somewhat concerned.

"No, I've just heard a lot about the Ichijo Group," I managed to force out. "The amusement parks the company has built is really quite impressive." I forced a smile. Somehow I felt like I just stepped on a landmine.

We arrived at a large and impressive mansion and Aoi took me to a room with a large full-length mirror and closets full of a wide range of clothing. "This way. Choose whichever you like."

The clothes were both my style and my size. It sent unpleasant shivers down my spine; I felt sick.

"Does a girl our age live here?" Ayame mused. I didn't answer. "Hotaru? Hey, are you okay? You seem a little tense." She furrowed her brow.

"Mm," I choked out. I didn't feel particularly eager to talk about it. "I'm... going to get dressed. Would you mind waiting outside?"

"Uh, yes, sure." Ayame knew me too well. She knew I wasn't being myself.

I took a shaky breath. Then another. Another. I took several deep breaths until I felt slightly calmer. I really didn't want to be here. Feeling like I wouldn't explode, I grabbed the first dress I saw off its hanger, not bothering to even look at it.

There was a knock on the door as I finished getting dressed.

"Yes?" I replied though I hadn't finished fastening the hook of the dress yet. It wasn't Aoi who entered the room.

"I'm Tomoki Matsuba. I'm one of the butlers here. I'm here to pick up the garments that require cleaning," the butler said. Bow-tied, black-suited and bespectacled, he exuded a rigidness befitting of a butler.

"Right. My cousin; did she...?"

"She went ahead to the garden," Tomoki responded.

"Oh." I bit my lip. Now what? I couldn't reach the clip on the back of my dress. I took yet another deep breath." Would you mind helping me fasten the hook on my dress? I can't quite reach it," I said.

"Please turn around." I did as he said and turned my back to him. He swiftly fastened the hook at the back of the dress before speaking again. "I'm going to do your laundry. Would you like some tea while you wait?"

"That would be lovely, thank you," I answered.

"This way." I followed Tomoki to the garden where Ayame was already waiting for me. She was sitting at a table, drinking from an elegant tea set.

"Kyo Aizawa. I'm a butler. Would you like anything else to drink?" Yet another butler introduced himself to me.

"The tea will be just fine, thank you," I replied formally as I sat down. Kyo promptly poured tea into the beautiful cup. "Thank you," I smiled up at Kyo once he was done.

"It's an original black tea blend using roses from this garden," he informed me.

"It smells wonderful."

"I recommend first tasting it black." A delicate pattern covered the teacup.

"This is Queen Rose, is it not?" I inquired, inspecting the cup. It suited the garden, but I was too on edge to enjoy it. Kyo didn't look the least bit surprised that I knew that.

"That's correct. It was produced in the early 18th century at the Raines factory." I nodded as I delicately held the cup and took a sip.

"How do you even know that stuff?" Ayame asked me. My only response was a small smile. Ayame cocked an eyebrow at me, inspecting my lips, and then my eyes. She gently placed the cup in its saucer and leaned over the table. "Hotaru?" she lowered her voice so only I can hear.

I shook my head. "Don't."

Ayame frowned but left it at that.

"It's delicious," I said after having tasted the tea, but the truth was I could barely taste anything. Silence fell upon the garden. Kyo didn't seem to be the talkative type as he watched over us. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed another butler approaching, a charming smile on his face. This family certainly had a lot of butlers...

"What's the matter? You look so serious," he commented.

"I always look like this," I replied calmly.

"Itsuka Matsuba at your service. You met Tomoki earlier. Last name's the same," he said cheerfully.

"Brothers, I take it?"

"That's right. Now, how would you two like some freshly baked scones?"

"Scones sound nice, don't you think so, Hotaru?" she asked, a little too cheerfully.

"Thank you," I replied. We were stuck here until my clothes got cleaned so we might as well.

"The strawberry jam is made with organic strawberries from our farm, and the clotted cream from milk from our cows." Was that supposed to impress me? Without responding, I cut open the scone and took a small bite.

"It's very delicious," I said before taking another bite. After eating, I elegantly wiped my mouth with a napkin and glanced at my surroundings. The garden was well taken care of. It was filled with gorgeous flowers and the landscape was really quite breathtaking. "You have a lot of pink flowers and roses here," I noted.

"We're growing them for a celebration," Itsuki replied.

"A celebration?"

"It will be our employer's birthday in a month. And his daughter will be introduced to society on the same day," he explained. It took everything I had not to tremble. Not to react in any negative way. I swallowed.

"Is that so? I'm sure she must be wonderful," I said, keeping the bite I was feeling out of my voice.

"She is. A bit of a diamond in the rough. But that'll make training her all the more worth it." I had to keep myself from barking a laugh, and almost faltered.

"Oh? In my experience, I've found that the rough diamonds are far more valuable than refined ones." I flashed him one of my most dazzling smiles. His eyes widened.

"Oh, how do you figure?" he asked.

"I apologise for not being able to put this more delicately, but in this society, I find these 'refined'," I air quoted the word, "diamonds to be little more than sheep." Itsuki didn't hide his shock at my words, and I smirked ever so slightly. "Of course, I don't blame them. They were raised that way. You know, to follow someone else's orders; someone else's plan for their lives. It's been imprinted on them since the moment they were born and it's all they know. Whereas a diamond in the rough, as you put it, is quite rare in high society, but personally, I find it invigorating. It's like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise suffocating world to meet someone who is willing to against the status quo to do what they believe in. You could even say it's like defying gravity, which, in and of itself is already a very impressive feat." I chuckled. "But, what do I know? I'm just a teenager." I didn't fail to notice Ayame's dubious expression directed at me.

Yet another butler walked up to us, holding my freshly cleaned clothes.

"Sorry I kept you waiting," he said. I had to admit, I was taken aback by how attractive he was. But he had a certain vibe that reminded me of my brother, Eisuke, and that usually only spelt bad things. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Yuma Akagi, and I'm the Ichijo family's head butler." Yuma bowed to me.

I smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I would like to apologize for the actions of one of our butlers today," Yuma said.

The corner of my mouth twitched. "I appreciate it. I'm just glad no one was hurt," I added. Yuma nodded.

"Meeting like this was, I think, fate. I hope... that you and I will meet again somewhere." I forced a chuckle as I looked away. If we did, I'd choke all of them. Yuma smiled significantly as he took my hand, then he gently kissed the back of it. The gesture was familiar, but it never got any easier to bear. "You were in the midst of moving. I'll have the limousine take you," he said.

"Thank you," I replied. I quietly watched Yuma give instructions to the other butlers.

After changing my clothes, Ayame and I got into the limo together with Yuma.

Ayame gave me another worried look as she was dropped off. "Hey, um, call me. Okay?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"Again, I am very sorry about today," Yuma said. It seemed like his attention was focused solely on me.

"It's alright."

"How did you find the house?"

"It was gorgeous. Absolutely breath-taking," I replied.

Yuma smiled, brimming with elegance and grace, but I could tell he wasn't actually buying a word I said.

We weren't far from the new apartment when the limousine came to a sudden stop.

"Are you alright?" Yuma's arms were around me, steadying me after the abrupt braking. I felt myself stiffen; my blood ran cold. In a panic, I pushed away from him. "Miss?"

"Sorry, I just don't handle physical contact very well." I shifted uncomfortably.

"I... apologize," Yuma said as he moved away from me. I shook my head.

"It's fine. But is there a problem?" I asked, looking away from him and out the window in an attempt to get rid of the tension in the atmosphere.

"It appears the road narrows up ahead. The car can't continue. This is as far as we can take you," Yuma explained.

"Here is fine. Thanks for bringing me this far."

"Before you go, might I ask how you found our service?" Yuma asked. An odd thing for a butler to ask.

"Oh, your service was superb." I got a sudden idea. "You're definitely on Geo's level."

"Geo?" Yuma asked. The corner of my lips tugged upwards. I got him. Hook, line, and sinker.

"My dad's butler," I replied innocently.

"Your... Dad?"

"Oh! I just realised I never introduced myself. Apologies. I'm just so used to people knowing I am. I'm Hotaru Ichinomiya."

"A pleasure, Miss Ichinomiya." Yuma smiled, but it was forced.

"I know this is probably common knowledge, but my dad, Akira, adopted both me and my brother, Eisuke. You see, my biological father abandoned me and my mother a long time ago."

Yuma's façade almost faltered, and I saw that. I was right; he knew!

"Abandoned?" Yuma asked, almost hesitantly.

"Yep. He didn't even show up for my mother's funeral after she died."

Yuma looked away. "I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps there was a reason he couldn't take care of you?"

I leaned back in my seat. "I don't care."

"You... Don't care?" God, how many more times was he going to feel inclined to make me repeat what I said?

"I don't. No excuse he could have would ever be good enough."

"I'm sure he must love you." I could tell Yuma was choosing his words very carefully without divulging too much information.

"You can't love someone you don't know. I've never even met him. Or talked to him. You see, the way I see it, blood doesn't mean anything. Genetic doesn't mean anything. I'll tell you what does mean something though: When I needed a dad, Akira was there. Akira is my dad. And my so-called father was little more than a sperm donor." Yuma almost choked on his words, and I chuckled. "Not the most delicate choice of words, but it's the truth. The thing is, you don't get to be a dad just because you share DNA. He wasn't there when I needed him the most, and he has no right to take up that role now." Yuma was speechless. "But I'm sorry to dump all of that on you like that. That was really silly and unfair of me. Please, forget I said anything." I made a show of giving a nervous laugh.

"Not at all." Yuma knew I was full of it. And I knew he knew that, but he didn't say anything more.

"Well, it's getting dark. I really should be going."

"Of course." He got out of the car before I did and held the door open for me. I bowed politely to him and turned to leave. I was happy to see the moving truck in front of the building when I finally got there.

"Excuse me. I'm sorry I'm so late. I'm Hotaru Ichinomiya."

"We've brought everything inside. Have a great day, Miss." With that, the movers left. I stood still for a moment and frowned. They brought everything inside? I didn't have to guess how they did that. I had a really bad feeling about this. I just hoped to god I was wrong. I inserted my key and unlocked the door.

"Welcome home, Miss Ichinomiya."

I wasn't wrong...

I was unable to hide my disdain as the butlers bowed their heads gracefully. I slammed the door shut behind me. The composure I put so much effort into keeping all day crumbled in an instant. I stared at them, not saying anything.

"We're here to serve you. Starting today." Aoi said. The butlers brought me slippers. I glared at the slippers, then at them, and crossed my arms.

"Well. I wish I could say I'm surprised," I snapped scornfully. I slipped my shoes off, not bothering with the slippers as I walked into the living room and sat down on my sofa. Resting my elbow on the armrest, I pressed my forefinger against my temple and my thumb beneath my chin. "Well go ahead. Give me the whole speech about why you're here."

Itsuki cleared his throat, uncomfortable. "Do you remember when I mentioned our employer's daughter?" he asked.

"Uh-huh."

"That girl..." Itsuki started, only to have his sentence finished by Tomoki.

"... is you." I didn't respond. "But... you already knew that."

"And that surprises you, how? I have the power, money and resources to do just about anything. You really think I'd go through life being oblivious and naïve without looking into who my father is?"

"You're going to be a sophisticated woman by the time of our employer's birthday," Kyo said. Sophisticated. I could socialise quite well in and I knew how to conduct myself, but there were many in high society who would argue that I wasn't quite "sophisticated" or "traditional" enough. Men in high society liked controlling everything, and I had a reputation for going against the tide. But I've never been bothered by that before and I wasn't about to start now.

"Right. Your employer, Kazuma Ichijo. My so-called father."

"Yes." Aoi smiled. I bet women were putty in his hands with that smile. The stupid ones anyway.

I didn't say anything, and the tension in the air grew ever more palpable. I didn't take my eyes off the butlers either.

As the glaring continued, the front door opened and Mr Head Butler walked in.

"Why, hello there, Miss Ichinomiya," Yuma grinned as he unceremoniously locked the door.

"Oh, great. The cavalry's here," I said sarcastically.

"Yuma, she knows," Aoi said.

Yuma grinned. It was a sinister grin; the same one Eisuke got whenever he was plotting something. "I figured as much. Everything you said in the limo... You knew all along who Mr Ichijo is."

"What did she say in the limo?" Itsuki asked, curiously.

I snorted. "Believe me, if I'd known you were Ichijo butlers before I got in that limo, I never would have accepted your half-assed offer. But then again, something tells me whether I accepted it or not, we'd still all be here right now."

"Enough. I cannot allow and Ichijo to utter such vulgar words," Tomoki said with a scowl.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Oh yes? Try and stop me, four-eyes."

His scowl turned into an expression of both shock and offence.

"Well as fun as this has been, everybody out. Before I report you for break in and entering."

"I didn't expect you'd treat us like crooks. Not when you're the one violating your lease." Yuma held out a piece of paper.

I snatched the paper from his hand and skimmed through the contract until my eyes stopped at a particular 'special feature'. "Personal butler?" I read out loud. And right at the bottom was Akira's signature. My dad wasn't stupid. No way would he have signed this without checking every detail and have the family lawyer go over it for emphasis. Which could only mean he knew about this and didn't tell me.

"We had you come to the house to make the idea more palatable," Aoi said.

"Yes, yes. You set me up. I figured that out hours ago." I got up. "I don't believe this," I mumbled as I grabbed my phone and went into my room. I slammed the door shut and furiously dialled my dad's number.

"Yes?" He didn't look at the caller ID before answering.

"Hi, Dad. It's me," I said in a voice so sweet it sounded sickening even to me.

"Hotaru! I was going to call you in the morning. Have you settled in?" he asked.

"Yes, about that... Did the lease for my new apartment perhaps come with a tiny detail you forgot to mention?" I spoke through clenched teeth.

"The lease?" Akira remained silent for a few moments as he thought. "Oh! You must be talking about the butler service. It was a special they had just for your apartment. I figured having a butler would make your life a little easier."

My eyebrow twitched as I closed my eyes in exasperation. "So you did know about it."

"Of course. You think I'd sign something like that without thoroughly checking every word on it?"

"And you didn't think to warn me about it?" I breathed.

Akira paused. "You're upset..."

"Damn right I'm upset! Dad, you've been duped!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Those butlers! I wouldn't be surprised if they disguised themselves as real estate agents. They probably played on your worry as my dad, too."

"Hotaru, you're not making any sense."

"They're Ichijo butlers! They orchestrated this whole thing! The apartment, the lease, the butler service. All of it! All so they could, and I quote, 'turn me into a sophisticated woman' for his birthday party."

I heard Akira breathe hard over the receiver in an attempt to maintain his composure. "I'm calling Yuzuru."

"What's he going to do? They're practically untouchable, and not because they work for Ichijo. They planned everything to the finest detail and slipped through all the right loopholes. Everything on the lease is legal and you knew about the butler service when you signed it, so we can't even sue them for not explaining certain details on the contract. There's nothing we can do."

Akira paused. "You're right. But there's nothing on the lease about you following their rules. No conditions about you taking any kind of lessons from them. I doubt I need to tell you this, but you don't dance to the sound of their pipes. You dance to yours."

I smirked, relaxing a bit. "You know it, Daddy."

"Good. I'll call you tomorrow. Love you." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Love you, too."

I took a deep breath before opening my door. Of course they were still there, and they likely heard every word I said to my dad, too. I took one annoyed look at them and moved to the kitchen.

"All sorted out?" Yuma asked sarcastically as he followed me into the kitchen.

"Why bother asking when you heard my entire conversation," I retorted.

There was a moment of silence before Yuma doubled over with laughter.

"I think this will be very interesting indeed," he said as he looked at me with amusement.

I didn't bother responding as I put the kettle on; nothing good could possibly come from interacting with him. I turned around and leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing my arms over my chest.

Yuma's sinister smile returned. I raised my eyebrows in a motion for him to get to the point.

"All you have to do is accept our training on behalf of our dear employer. It's only a month," Itsuki said.

My eyes flitted to him. "No," I said flatly before turning my back to them.

"You had etiquette lessons, but we need to make doubly sure you didn't miss anything. Not to mention kick that flighty nature of yours. Otherwise, you'd just be an embarrassment," Yuma replied with a broad smile.

I barked a laugh. "Wow. That is just hilarious." I turned back to him. "I already told you how I feel about him. And I know you know I meant every word. But just in case you're still processing, allow me to break it down for you. I can barely stomach the thought of breathing the same air as your oh-so-wonderful employer. He can go fuck himself for all I care. And you would be damn lucky if I decided not to embarrass him and his company on purpose, which, by the way, I'm still undecided on." Tomoki opened his mouth to say something. I pointed my finger at him without looking at him. "You say one word about my language, I swear to god I will punch you."

Yuma sighed, exasperated. "How you feel about him doesn't matter. We made a promise to him and we intend to keep it."

I snorted. "Good luck with that." I turned back to the now boiled kettle and prepared some camomile tea. God knows I needed it.

"Alright, it's time you choose," Yuma said. I could hear the amused smirk in his voice.

"Oh, I get a choice, do I?" I retorted.

"Who would you like to be your butler?" Aoi asked.

Next Chapter

[ernmark]

in the "Juno was still a Cop" au, how were they going to beat miasma? Telepathic and indestructible seem like an impossible combination. (i'm not asking for a whole chapter I am just. very curious)

I’ve been struggling with this final chapter for so long because I didn’t know how to manage it in a way that would be narratively satisfying without doing a lot of work on my end. What can I say, endings are hard.

The end result wound up being 3k and a bit difficult to write, and I don’t think I was physically capable of really pulling it off until I was back in a more comfortable place, writing-wise. I think doing the fanfics that I have been this month has been a huge help in getting me back to that place. 

Thank you so much for your patience. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

I have the thief drop me off at the edge of town before he takes Engstrom and Valencia to the hospital.

It takes some convincing– he keeps insisting that I go with them– but this is the way it has to be. Besides, I’m about to have someone a whole lot more competent than one of the city’s doctors to patch me up.

As soon as I’m out of the car, I look away from it until the sound of its engine is long gone. I couldn’t say which way it went, or which hospital they’re going to. I know it won’t matter much– if Dark Matters wants to corroborate my story, they won’t have much trouble finding the thief.

Hopefully it won’t come to that. 

My comms doesn’t have the number coded into it, but it doesn’t matter. I memorized it years ago, for the nights when ma kicked me out for the night and I had to call Sasha to come let me sleep on her couch. I know she still uses it: Mick dialed it once when he was drunk and in trouble, and the call actually went through. She was furious, of course. She said the line was for emergencies only– by which she meant, just in case some detective found her sister’s body and needed to get in touch. Well, this is an emergency.

The call goes through. No one answers, but I know she’s listening.

“Hey, Sasha. I don’t know where the hell I am right now, but I need one of your buddies with the sunglasses to come find me.”

I’m still trying to explain the situation on the silent comms when a Dark Matters transport lands beside me and two bespectacled goons named Agent usher me inside. 

For hours I’m poked and prodded and interrogated. My clothes are confiscated and I’m swabbed for dozens of samples of genetic material– both mine and the Martian goo that’s crusted on my skin. While I speak, my interrogator is handed a tablet, and I can see security footage from the hotel reflected in their glasses. 

The agent’s face is stony and expressionless as they watch Miasma’s arms elongate and twist. I can’t tell if they already knew about all this or if their training is just that good.

“Stay here,” they say with a cool nod. “A medic will be with you shortly.”

And then I’m back on the street, smelling of antiseptic and feeling a little bit like a rabbit that’s been through one of those catch-and-release vans. 

I sway and manage to catch myself against an alley wall before I slide to the ground. 

What the hell am I supposed to do now? I’m in some strange city in the middle of nowhere. I have no money for a cab, and even if I did, I don’t know where it would take me. My apartment? Pretty sure that’s either an active crime scene or picked clean by my precinct. Rita’s? No, the last thing I want to do is get her mixed up with Dark Matters and Miasma any more than she already is. That hotel I shared with the thief?

My chest hurts, and not just from the stitches. 

He’s probably halfway across the solar system by now. I hope he is. I don’t think I could stand the thought of him in Dark Matters’ crosshairs. The best I can ask for is that I never see him again.

The thought might be bittersweet, but right now all I can feel is numb.

I don’t know how long I sit in that alley, staring at nothing, my knees hugged against my chest. People pass by without a second glance. The sun sets and the only light that reaches me is the rippling blue of the city’s dome. A car pulls up to the alley. A door opens, and footsteps approach. 

I don’t look up. I don’t have it in me to wonder if their motive is charity or a mugging. I’m so tired.

“I hope you haven’t been waiting for me all this time.” The thief’s voice is gentle and chiding. “You hadn’t moved in so long that I thought you’d lost your comms.”

Slowly I look up, staring blankly at him. He shouldn’t be here. She should be somewhere out across the galaxy by now. He should have left me behind.

I can’t bring my eyes to focus on his face, but he reaches down to cup my cheek. His hand is warm and gentle against my skin, and right then all I want is to cling to him.

“How would you like to sit somewhere more comfortable?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer before he helps me to my feet. I’ve been sitting on the ground so long that my legs are asleep, and they buzz painfully as the blood comes back into my extremities. It’s hard to think of much of anything as he helps me into the passenger seat and climbs in on the other side.

“Miss Valencia is expected to make a full recovery, give or take a few fingers,” he says, answering the question I was afraid to ask. “Engstrom made sure she’ll be receiving the best of care.”

“That’s four people who made it out alive,” I say hollowly. “How many do you think were in the Oasis? A couple hundred?” The thought has been swirling in my head for hours, but finally it comes back in full force, hot and acidic in my mouth. “How many of them are dead right now?”

In my mind’s eye I can still see the bodies littering the floor, the walls sprayed with blood, the gore scattered across the lobby. I can still smell it past the antiseptic, past the thief’s cologne. 

“Juno.” He leans in, turning my head until I have to look at him. “You did everything you could.”

“I told them to stay put,” I croak. “I told them not to run when they had the chance. If she–” 

“If she did anything at all to them, then that is her responsibility. You did all you could with what information you had. No one could have known what was going to happen, love.”

“I should have,” I insist. “I saw she wasn’t going down. I knew something was wrong–”

“And you think the obvious conclusion was that she was some sort of otherworldly monster?” His hands are on my face again, cradling my trembling jaw. “You couldn’t have known what she was. No one could. You did everything you could. It isn’t your fault, love. It isn’t your fault.”

I don’t know when the tears start. I haven’t cried since I lost Ben, and suddenly I feel like I’m making up for lost time. I’m crying for a hotel full of people– and for the ones who came before them. How many mostly-innocent people did I leave to die? How many people could I have saved? How many monsters like Miasma did I let run free just because they had the money and the power for a bribe? How much blood is on my hands? I sob like a little kid, and the thief just holds me and strokes my back and kisses my forehead. 

There’s nothing left in me once the tears are gone, but it’s a different kind of emptiness than before. I feel wrung out and exhausted, but a little more human than I’ve felt in a long, long while.

He kisses me one last time. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a good night’s sleep. Care to join me?”

I give a small nod. “I’d like that.”

———

And just like that, I’m back where I started, give or take a few disasters: back in a hotel with the thief, soaking in his presence until he starts to drown out the guilt and anxiety that I can’t escape anywhere else. 

I know his patterns by now. He’s biding his time, laying low until the heat wears off and he can make his next move. I try not to think about what that means for me, but he doesn’t let me avoid it too much longer.

He’s browsing through the screen of his comms, settling into the familiar patterns of research.

“The Kobasha founding festival is next week,” he says when he feels my eyes on him. “If we leave tomorrow, we can make it through customs in time for the fish lantern ceremony. It really is a beautiful sight to see.” He hasn’t looked up from the screen, but he does now. His expression is cool and casual, but there’s a note of dread under the facade. “That is, if you still intend to go to Tau Ceti.” 

I swallow, but it catches in my throat. “That was the plan, wasn’t it?”

“You can always change your mind.”

“To what?”

“Anything you like.”

I don’t know what I’d like. Right now, the thought of going somewhere else and starting over from scratch feels overwhelming. I don’t know where I’d start or what I’d do. 

When I joined the police academy, I still went home to Ben and Mick and even Ma. When I left Oldtown, I knew the rest of my class at the academy, the higher-ups who took me under their wing, the designated partners that I trained under until I was at their level-- and even then I always had the option of going back to Oldtown when I needed to feel something more familiar.

But in Tau Ceti, I’ll be alone. Just me and my guilt and whatever fake paperwork the thief leaves me with. And sure, maybe it’s better that way, but it scares the hell out of me.

“Juno.” I don’t know how many times he’s said my name. I don’t snap out of my own spiraling thoughts until he lays his hand on my cheek. “You don’t have to decide just yet.”

“You were already going to leave,” I say dully. “I can’t make you stay any longer because of me.” 

He leans down and kisses me-- once on the forehead, and once, gently, on the lips. “Then come with me.”

I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t know what to do. I want to go with him, but there’s so much that can go wrong, so much that I can still ruin, so much--

I don’t have the chance to think much more about it before I hear a low, dry voice, like stone rolling over sand. “There you are.”

He whirls to face the hotel door, a plasma knife already in his hand, poised to put himself between Miasma and me. But all the noble intentions in the world can’t stop her.

Windows graded to withstand acid rains and sandstorms shatter as long tendrils-- more tentacles than arms-- fly into the room in a blur of motion. The thief slashes at the appendages, and I can hear the sizzle of plasma on flesh, but I can’t see it. My eyes are squeezed shut, my hands are caught on the tentacle wrapped around my neck, my heels are dragging on the floor as she pulls me across the room, and suddenly her desert-cold breath is on my cheek.

“Juno!” The thief rushes to the shattered window. His glasses are askew, his face is splattered with ichor. 

“Did you really think you could steal from me, thief?” Miasma rasps.

“Let him go,” the thief cries. “Please.”

“The Purus Egg,” she says. 

He steps out of the window, his hands open, palms toward her.

Stop it, you idiot, I want to shout at him. Run while you can! But her tentacle-arm is too tight against my throat. My lungs are fighting just to get a trickle of air. There’s nothing left in me to form a shout.

“I’ll bring it to you,” he says, walking closer. He’s talking to her but his gaze is fixed on me. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

From the corner of my eye, I spot a glint of black. I feel her shift against me, reacting to my thoughts.

No, I think frantically. Please, don’t do what she’s asking. She’s just going to kill you when she’s done. Run, just get out of here. 

She rattles in disgust and shakes me. “Shut up,” she snarls. Her tentacle cuts off all my air, and I can feel my thoughts start to spiral.

But she can’t stop me from thinking them.

Don’t get yourself killed over me, you beautiful idiot. You never should have come back for me. I can’t live with myself if something happens to you. I love you, dammit.

The thought rocks me to my core, but I can’t let up now. More flashes of black glint at me from above.

I love you, thief. I love you so much I can’t stand it. I want to go off into space with you. I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life. I want to make stupid bets with you and hatch crazy plans together. I don’t want to go to Tau Ceti if it means you’re going to leave me. Please don’t die. Please. I love you.

She’s shaking me now, snarling for me to shut up, but I just think louder, harder, practically screaming it inside my head. 

The thief runs toward me, his mouth open. I stretch out my hand toward him, silently begging him to stay away.

And then the first flash streaks across the sky like a shooting star, and the world is filled with a sickening sizzle and the sour-sweet smell of burning ooze.

Miasma shrieks and flings away, but she’s caught by another laser from another direction altogether. And then another. More flashes of hard light come down around her, carving through her like she’s made of nothing more than smoke. She regenerates almost as fast as they can hit her-- almost. But dozens of Dark Matters agents emerge from behind their cover, the muzzles of their blasters flashing in endless volleys. The tentacle that has my throat is severed, and I drop to the ground, gasping for air. The thief is at my side in an instant, his arms wrapping around me in a frantic hug. As he drags me away, the ring of Dark Matters closes around Miasma, and her howls of rage go silent.

-----------

For the second time that day, I’m cleaned and disinfected and bandaged by a medic in black. The thief doesn’t take his eyes off me even when the medic cleans the broken glass out of his own skin. 

“You knew they were coming,” he murmurs when the medic steps out of the room. “This was your plan all along.”

“I didn’t think it would go down like this.” My voice is barely a croak. “But yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell--” He stops, and understanding settles on his face. “You didn’t want her to read the plan in my thoughts.”

“She almost read them in mine.” What I thought instead is still ringing in my skull. I meant it, in all my panic. I still do.

He hums. “That’s why you didn’t want me to tell you, isn’t it.” He leans closer and wraps an arm gently around my shoulders. 

It isn’t, actually. I only thought of my plan in the car, before I had him drop me off. At the time I was almost as scared of being in love with him as I was of Miasma. Now, though...

The door opens. The thief doesn’t drop his arm from around my shoulders as a familiar dark figure steps through the door.

“Juno,” she says, nodding at me. She gives a second nod to the thief, but doesn’t address him directly. “I’d like to thank you for bringing Doctor Miasma to our attention. You’ve helped us neutralize a major threat to the Solar System.”

Neutralize?

The thief catches that wording, too. “You haven’t killed her.”

“That’s confidential,” she says coolly.

“Sasha--” I start to get up, but I’m too dizzy to break out of the thief’s grip, and he pulls me back down. 

The hard edges of her face soften slightly. 

“Frankly, I don’t know if something like her can be killed,” she says, her voice low. “Even if she could, she may in fact be one of a kind. Destroying that kind of a specimen would be a waste of a potentially limitless resource. Especially given her abilities.”

And I realize exactly what I’ve done. 

Miasma can shapeshift, and regenerate, and read minds. If they can figure out how-- if they figure out how to replicate it in themselves-- if they can make their own agents into something like her--

My head is swimming. The thief draws me close against his chest.

“Thank you, Agent,” he says curtly. “Are we being detained?”

She looks at him evenly, and then at me. “No. You’re free to go.” 

“Thank you.” He helps me to my feet, one arm still holding me close. “If you would be so kind as to show us the way out?”

She leads us out of the labyrinthine halls of the headquarters, and the thief keeps me from falling over. My mind is elsewhere, forming plans. I can call Rita, ask her to keep an eye on Dark Matters, let me know if they make any breakthroughs. And then we can... I don’t even know. We’ll figure it out when it comes.

But later. When my head has stopped spinning and I’ve had a chance to sleep.

I slide back into the moment when I feel the thief’s hands on me. “Didn’t know almost dying made you so frisky,” I say. “I would have done it more often.”

“And what if I told you that I was most aroused by bed rest and long recoveries?”

I scrape out a laugh. “Kinky, but I’ll give it a try. Any bugs on me?”

“None that I’ve found.” He’s patting himself down now, but he seems satisfied. “How are you feeling, love?”

“Like I just went through a dryer with a load full of bricks.” I hesitate. “Listen-- about Tau Ceti...”

He glances at me, his expression soft and resigned. “You don’t have to make a decision right now, Juno.”

“I know. But I did anyway.” I fold his hand in mine. “I don’t want to go there without you.”

He smiles gently. “I told you I would show you around, didn’t I?”

“No.” God, it’s hard to say. “I want to go with you. Not just to the festivals. Everywhere. I want to see the whole galaxy with you. I--” I’m cut off by a hacking cough. That was too much talking too soon. And without the momentum of my own clumsy words, I can hear just how stupid I sound. 

“I’m in love with you,” I whisper, and then I manage a soft, strangled laugh. “I’m in love with you, and I don’t even know your name.”

And he leans close against me until his lips brush the curve of my ear, and I can feel the warmth of his smile. “It’s Peter Nureyev.”

[thathpheadcanongirl]

How Audrey Weasley finds out about “real magic”...

Revealing a Magician's Secrets

There, she saw it, a few yards away. It was a rickety-looking barn house, but it looked homier than any other house she has ever seen. Audrey had been pestering Percy to take her to his childhood home, considering she had begrudgingly taken him to hers many times.

It was embarrassing to reveal her parents' vanity and delusion. Thankfully, her little sister, Jude, had left that house as soon as she turned eighteen. That was two years ago. Since then, she had gotten a good job that didn't require a college degree.

As for Audrey, she had received an Undergraduate degree in Education and was currently working on her Masters in English Literature. With her own drive and Percy's encouragement, Audrey was able to snatch a job in her local school district. She was teaching primary school level, which was better than nothing. It helped find a better flat with Percy, and eventually marry him. And now, with a baby on the way, this was everything she could have wished for.

She couldn't wait to see all of Percy's family again, the last time being at their wedding, which was about a year ago. They got married in the same church her parents were married in. Percy's parents were adorable, although Audrey had a strange feeling that his father had some early stages of dementia. He asked her about how cellphones worked without a cord, or if the "Astronet" was the same as the "Internaut", or how many plugs she could truly plug into one electrical socket. He was strange, but very genuine and kind.

Percy grabbed her hand. "Do you love me?"

"Of course I love you," she replied, squeezing his hand.

"Do you trust me?"

"Perce, I will love your family, no matter what." She could see that that wasn't what he was worried about.

"Before we go over there, Audrey, I need to tell you the truth…"

"What?" She dared to ask.

Percy took a deep breath in, and said, "What I am is more than a magician."

Well, thankfully, it wasn't about him having cold feet about their new family. She smiled, still confused. "You're an illusionist."

"No, I'm… my family… we are wizards."

"Is that what you call yourselves, then? The Weasley Wizards? Oh, sounds quite catchy!"

"No, Audrey, listen to me." He moved in front of her view of the Burrow so that they were face to face. "Magic, it's real. What I do is real. And I just want you to be prepared for what you might see in there. Promise me." He looked slightly frantic.

She caressed his cheek, humoring him, "I promise, but I don't see what this has to do with anything."

"You will see soon enough."

They began to walk toward the amazing house. A little blonde girl was playing with a small boy who had florescent turquoise hair. Audrey found that a little unruly for such a small child. She didn't even approve of her sister's wacky hair colors and Jude was a teenager then.

Percy's mother opened the door and gave them both such amazing hugs.

"I'm so happy you're finally here! And congratulations!" Molly beamed, indicating Audrey's stomach. Audrey was confused; did Percy tell his family before they could announce it together? Molly rushed them in while yelling out behind them, "Teddy! Victoire! Lunch will be ready in ten minutes!"

Audrey glanced over her shoulder, and to her astonishment, the boy's hair was now a bright ginger. She had to take a double-take. Maybe it was just the trick of the lighting before; the whole family was red-headed anyway. It only made sense.

As she walked further into the living room, she was absolutely fascinated by the amount of illusions happening at once. They truly were really into their magical craft. Everything was mismatched, and yet, it suited that house very well. The house was so full of people that Audrey was surprised that such a small-looking house on the outside could hold so many on the inside. She recognized George, his girlfriend, Angelina, Ron, and Arthur sitting around the kitchen table. After greeting these familiar people, Percy introduced her to Bill, and his wife, Fleur, and their youngest daughter, Dominique, his other brother Charlie, his sister Ginny and her fiancé, Harry. Audrey was quite disappointed that Hermione was not there. She had really enjoyed getting to know her over the years. She took a mental note to ask Percy why she was not there.

Lunch was amazing, according to Audrey. She had seen food appear out of what seemed to be thin air before, but this was true perfection. She found it rather fascinating.

"I absolutely love your tricks!" she admired Molly's handiwork. "You must tell me how you created such a realistic set-up."

Everyone looked at each other, then at Percy, who smacked his hand to his forehead in embarrassment.

"Percy Weasley, didn't you tell Audrey-" began his father.

"Of course I did! She still thinks it's what she thinks is magic."

Audrey looked around at knowing smiles. She didn't quite understand. She glanced down the table to where the three children were laughing, oblivious to the conversation at hand. And there, she saw it again! The boy named Teddy changed his hair color right before their eyes, making the two little girls giggle. She jumped and pointed down the table. "How! How did he do that?!"

"He's a Metamorphmagis," replied Harry, looking proudly down at Teddy.

"A morphing-what?"

Percy excused the two of them from the table and into the living room.

"Percy, what is this? Are you taking the piss?"

"No! Addie, I've been trying to tell you. I'm a wizard. My magic is real. My whole family can do magic-"

"So can mine-!"

"No, love, listen to me. Believe me! I would never lie to you."

She looked in his bespectacled blue eyes as he grasped both of her hands in his. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement from the wall. She turned to see all of the pictures were moving, waving and laughing. Were these mini-TVs? Why would they have so many if they were supposed to be poor?

She took one down from the wall. She saw no chord attaching the picture to the wall. No batteries. No on and off switch. "What is this place?" she whispered.

"My life," Percy said quietly. She looked up at his anxious face.

"This is a lot to take in, Perce."

"I know. I'm not expecting you to grasp it right away."

There was a bit of silence. Then, Audrey spoke. "The- the day we first met. When the Ping-Pong balls fell out of my pockets…"

As if on cue, Percy took out a stick from his pocket, gave it a small wave, and, like before, Ping-Pong balls cascaded from beneath her shirt sleeves.

Audrey was terrified. "Oh my God! Make it stop!" With another flick of the stick, the balls disappeared. "What the hell!"

"Addie, I'm sorry-" started Percy, reaching out to touch her, but she jumped out of his reach.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't- our laws didn't allow-"

"Your laws? Like your own principle, or…"

"No, our own Ministry."

Audrey laughed at this. "You have a Ministry?! What's it called? The Ministry of Magic?"

Percy grinned sheepishly. "It sounds too good to be true, I know, but you've got to trust me. Remember what you said before we came here? That you promised you'd trust me? This is why, Audrey. I love you so damn much, and I am over the moon that we're going to have a baby. I didn't want to scare you away."

Instinctively, she put a hand on her stomach. "So you couldn't tell me until I was pregnant?"

"Actually, I broke the rules a little bit," he said, seeing that this was a good time to start walking towards her. "I'm technically not supposed to say anything until the child is born, but I couldn't wait anymore. Hermione and I are trying to get rid of that rule for good. It's old and useless. But that's neither here nor there. The point is," he touched her hand over her stomach. "I love you and I don't want any secrets anymore. You've always wondered why I was so good at magic. Now you know. I am revealing my secret to you."

He chanced a smile, but Audrey was still quite frightened. "I don't know, Percy…"

"Listen, if you want, we can leave," he said. "We don't have to stay."

"Well, your family seems nice," she said slowly. "And they didn't try to kill me or anything."

"They would never kill you, Addie!" Percy took her by the shoulders, looking very serious. "We don't kill. We love. That's all we ever did was love." He had a sparkle in his eye and his ears turned red. "I will tell you anything you want to know about my world because I want you to be a part of it. I love you."

He looked so genuine. Audrey sighed of relief. She knew she could trust him. "I love you, too." After a quick peck, they returned, hand in hand, to the kitchen.

"So, you finally realize we've been scamming you all this time, eh, Addie?" Teased George, causing everyone to laugh except for Percy, who looked as if he were about to punch George in his good ear. No one knew that Percy created a nickname for Audrey, and he tended to want to keep it that way.

Audrey had a great rest of her time with the Weasleys, although she did miss Hermione. It turned out that Hermione was born from non-magic people, and that she knew the best of both worlds. Harry knew about normal people things too, so Audrey chatted with him more so than anyone else there. He informed her about what happened between Ron and Hermione. It was all so tragic. She figured that was why Ron avoided her the whole day. She hoped it would all work out in the end…

She also found out that Arthur did not have dementia after all! He was just an old wizard who was fascinated by regular, every day things. Audrey was glad to explain some things to him. He hugged her and said, "I am so happy you are part of our family."

Audrey's heart warmed up at the sight of the old man's happiness. She looked around at all of the magic that was happening around her. It was like she had woken up from a dream- a really cool dream that no one else would ever believe was real. In all of her years trying to run away from her family's magic act, she never thought that she would feel so at home in a place where real magic existed. She smiled back at her father-in-law. "I'm happy to be here, too."